Growing pains

Just(in Beiber) too young for this front cover

Justin Beiber. The Beib. Beibster. Whatever you will call him, has divided people. Granted, this division is generally between people over and under the age of 16, but all the same, if people over the age of 40 have heard of him, its safe to say he's made an impression.  For me personally, I have very-little-to-no shame in saying that I have previously joined the youths in enjoying him. Not him, he is a child, but what he does, the over-produced music, the way I can associate with his wee little fans (Beibettes, or whatever, for some reason music producers decide to name the fans too these days) because I too used to like tweenypopstars when I was 13. At university, the songs 'One time' and 'Baby' genuinely form a fairly strong memory of my third year; I would say this is probably a decent balance of 80% joke, 20% guilty (or not so, in my case) pleasure.

However. I do feel for his producers. The well-renowned Usher and Ludacris have both had a hand in his 'upbringing', but as with the star chorus boy in a church choir, he was always going to grow up and things were always going to change. In other words, his voice has broken. So where does that leave us? To be precise, where does it leave me. He is no longer a tweenypopstar and so I no longer enjoy what he does.

In addition to this, he has just released a new version of 'All I want for Christmas is you' with Mariah Carey. Have a watch, if you can bear it:

Firstly, why, if I can put financial incentives aside for one moment, is Mariah Carey hanging out with a 17 year old in a supermarket. Secondly, why is she facing a wall for most of the video? It makes me think she's hiding something...unretouchable wrinkles perhaps? Thirdly, Justin's autotune. We all know it's now used freely in mainstream pop music, obviously you don't need to sing to be a singer these days, but normally its inconspicuous or at least so obvious that the voice is just a synthesised instrument in its own right. Listen when the beib bursts in at 1:20...Really?! Its not like I'm a huge Mariah Carey fan but its well known that she has a range of eight octaves, it seems odd to have coupled her with a pubescent boy who, in line with his recent 'growing up', has probably just lost his ability to reach two . Finally, does anyone else think that from 3:40 on, when the two are sitting in the sleigh together that it looks a little bit like a flamboyant coming out party for the two of them?

Sorry. This is harsh. I think that Justin Beiber becoming a real person has hit me hard.

Anyway, for those of you thoroughly offended by this blog, take a moment to cleanse your palate with this:

SBTRKT - Wildfire